In playing their parental role, single mothers tend to find themselves at the nastier endimages of the stick. They face court challenges regarding child custodies which draw them out emotionally and sometimes financially. The bitter wrangles that characterize the court procedures worsen the rift between the parents as they gun for each other. Sometimes children are made to choose between parents in cases where rigid positions are assumed in respect of demands. If it is not the couple fighting, it will be family members who often take sides and cause the partners to drift further apart. As the tension escalates, children are left with mostly a mother who faces the daunting task to raise them. The society does not make the load any easier as single mothers are generally prejudged and treated with suspicion.

Marital relationships have become so intricate and hard to manage. The respect and expectation for marriage is becoming less regarded. As it is said, the marriage institution is a place besieged where those inside wish to get outside, while those outside wish to get inside. Marriage breaks seem to be the common trend - those inside getting outside. With that comes a boom of single mothers who cling to their kids and battle for survival. Depending on the character of the father, they often go without any child support, or receive such pittance in support as the father carries on as a church mouse.

In response to the near certainty of marriage failure, many women have tried to delaymarryme the onset of marriage. But as age takes its toll, they scramble for a chance to get married and have a family and home of their own. Mostly, there will not be any takers from the men side. The few interested men will be a far cry from the lady's expectations, or they could be mere opportunists looking for female bed fellows with ‘no strings attached'. As a result, many ladies are convinced that there are no more good men out there to marry them; if there are there they are usually taken.

Out of desperation, or pushed by their ‘love for kids', many ladies are opting to just become single mothers. Some get into it hoping that the advent of kids will prompt their partners to settle. This takes dating to a new peak, a place which houses both danger and promise for those engaged in the encounter. Whatever the risks, many women are settling for just having a baby and becoming a mother. Some take the necessary precautions of safe sex, yet some risk it all and plunge in. The frustrations and dissatisfaction with relationships has become the major propeller in creating single mothers.

It is indeed a vicious cycle for the average single mother as having a baby does not in itself quench the thirst to be held and to be loved intimately. Many serious brothers consider dating a single mother as a daunting task as they are intimidated by the same past that transformed the woman into a single mother. The prospect of starting with a baggage tends to be discouraging. For the single mother, it becomes a tricky situation regarding who to accept in a relationship - a fellow single father or a fresh bachelor! In both cases, single mothers often feel taken for granted as they feel wanted and not loved. They are caught in the middle regarding how much to give or where to draw the line and have trouble convincing themselves that there are still held by chastity as any other woman in a relationship.

When it comes to infidelity, the average married women fear the single mothers whom they suspect of loose morals, perhaps informed by a belief that it is hard to get a good man if you are a single mom, unless you become ‘freely' available. According to the married women's conviction, single mothers are regarded as having less to win and less to lose too. They contend that single ladies are more willing to fall into a makeshift arrangement and are less demanding as they want a man for some of their less urgent needs, unlike an unmarried childless lady. Married women seem to be aware that their husbands would more likely fall into an easy illicit affair than a difficult one, hence the fear of single mothers who they consider relatively less demanding and easy to flirt with.

Not all members of the society are unfriendly towards single mothers. In forward-looking nations, governments have promulgated rights for single mothers to protect their dignity from being trampled on. Some societies have formed lobby groups to champion the cause of a single mother. Some single mothers have not been thwarted from self-organizing in an attempt to advance a common agenda. The church has a soft place for single mothers too as they are recognized as no filthier than we all are.

Whatever the suspicions associated with single mothers are, this special class of humans is also known for its resilience and determination. These women have taught themselves to become the ‘man' they want to become by pushing obstacles aside as though they did not exist. They have learned how to fend for their broods for as far as their talents and abilities can grant that possible. For those who were raised by single mothers, it is not hard to identify with their strength and depth of character, their endurance, their fierce determination to succeed and their independence in forging their way forward.

Whatever our take on single mothers, they have a right to be treated fairly and equallymain like any one of us. And if there is any truth in the issues attributed to single mothers, then it is incumbent upon each single mother to arrest such decadence and take on a new look.

For all of us as a people, is there any hope for marriage any more, or couples are just learning to be comfortable with whatever shortcomings (especially infidelity) there are in the marriage?